One thing I promised myself when I started this blog was to be candid with my readers. Whether I had one follower or two thousand, honesty had to be on the agenda, especially as this is to be a “body transformation journey.” I wrote in my first entry to inform readers of my setbacks, disappointments as well as achievements. Up until know, I’ve written about the good. Well, it’s time to pencil in the bad and the ugly.
Yesterday was a major setback. I don’t know what came over me, but I went on an eating frenzy. This frenzy happened fairly late in the day, so it’s not as though I could burn it off and digest properly. It wasn’t even at a holiday gathering, so that could not be used as an excuse. Sunday morning started out innocently enough. Meeting a friend for some Christmas shopping, I was running a tad bit late and grabbed a small banana before heading out the door. After browsing in the jam-packed mall, we decided to head to Winners in Scarborough for a bigger and well stocked selection. Shopping usually leads to hunger as my grumbling stomach reminded me before my friend suggested we do lunch, which had turned into the dinner hour. Like I said, sounds innocent enough. I was experiencing hunger, so the appropriate thing to do was eat. We stopped at a popular all-u-can eat buffet. First mistake. I usually avoid buffets because they are just a smorgasbord of food selections. I only go up once and feel I can never get my money’s worth as I am not that much of a big eater, especially these days. Well folks, yesterday I decided I WAS a big eater and I WAS going to get my money’s worth. I went up twice and loaded my plate. Twice you say? Not so bad. Let me repeat, I loaded my plate. Not with healthy choices either. Fat, sodium, sugar, cholesterol, MSG and any other bad contents you can think of would apply. Did I stop there. Oh no. Black forest cake was calling my name. I was a ravenous fool. Up until this point, I have been enjoying my cake fixes with a wee sliver. Well, my dear readers this was no sliver. It was more like a brick of chocolate, icing and oozing, gooey maraschino cherries on top. Oh, and let’s not forget the coffee and orange Fanta. My friend looked at me with a perplexed look on her face.
“You were hungry,” she chuckled.
“Yeah well, I only had a banana all day,” I justified defensively, feeling embarrassed. (Did I really look like a curly-headed Miss Piggy? Keep in mind, she’s read my blog and has read all the healthy advocate shpleel thus far.) Oh the shame. Oh the guilt. Am I a hypocrite? Lucky for me, she’s a sweet-heart and didn’t mention a thing about the trex to tigress quest.
After she dropped me home with a peck on my cheek, and a, “I’ll call ya’ next week,” I left her car feeling sad, depressed and defeated. And now, I’m going to mention the really sad part. Feeling already sad, depressed and defeated, I remembered I had half a chocolate bar with almonds in the fridge. Yeah, I ate it right before bedtime, which made me feel even more depressed, sad and defeated. Later in bed, I tossed and turned looking at the ceiling. My stomach, bloated like a balloon, started to rebel badly. My insides were angry and they wouldn’t let me fall asleep. Feeling physically and mentally broken, I ran to the bathroom. I felt as though I needed to throw up and slightly did (sorry for the graphic details but this is the ugly part.) Andy, who was concerned, made me some mint tea which helped a tad.
“Why did you eat the chocolate bar so late?” he asked
“I don’t know!” I protested, “I just need to burp!” I cried.
My stomach felt as though it was doing a dance with the devil, being dipped and twirled. At 1:50am, I gave up on sleeping and took a Gravol tablet for nausea. I knew working the next day was out of the question, with no sleep in sight so I decided a sick day was in order. However, along with my physical discomfort, the guilt I felt inside was also sticking around. I was in the “beating myself up over something that had already happened” stage of this body transformation journey.
So what did I learn from this? I learned that my stomach is now used to lean protein, plenty of water (no soda) vegetables and fruits and stopping when I’m full and it was not going to just sit there and allow me to gorge myself silly. I defied my stomach and my digestive track and paid the price big time. I also learned that a moment of gorging and pigging out on cake and deep-fried foods is so not worth it. Moderation truly is a better option than gluttonous behaviour. I learned that just having a tiny banana and running around like a mad woman all day in a hot, crowded shopping mall is only asking for trouble later in the day. The moment of bodily destruction comes and goes, but if you are eating healthy, you will feel the physical and mental repercussions later. I also learned that I am human. I will make mistakes. The important morale of this story is that I can get back on the health wagon again. So I gave myself a hug, stopped beating myself up and told myself that tomorrow is a new day. My berries, oatmeal and lean meats would be waiting for my return. After coming to this resolve, I drifted into peaceful slumber.