Last night I sipped on a glass Pinot Grigio while taking my mental notes as I watched the O.C Housewives. I was also celebrating life with Heather and Terry. The Dubrows are healthy, alive and can buy T-shirts at $400 dollars a pop. I was celebrating because I am healthy, alive and I can buy T-shirts on the H & M clearance rack for $10 dollars. See, I’m just like Heather Dubrow!
Heather got Terry “liquored up” as she went on a shopping spree (and spent a lot of $$$) to buy new outfits for the Tahiti vay-cay.
Later in O.C landia, Meghan and step-daughter Haley prepared some fun candy dishes and lollipop displays for the couples games night that Meghan was hosting later that night. Meghan lectured her young step-daughter about chores, homework and grocery shopping. The usual mommy expectations. A lot of eye-rolling and cell phone scrolling ensued from Hayley in response. I feel bad for Meghan. It takes a strong person to take on a moody teenager, who’s sick mother is nearly at death’s door and too sick to care for her biological child. Meghan is really trying here and seems genuinely concerned about Hayley’s future. I’m not a fan of her husband Bill Edmonds (or is it Jim? See, he’s dulls ville. I can’t even recall his name.) Jim. I’m pretty sure it’s Jim. He is void of personality and talks like a cantankerous robot. He always looks annoyed when Meghan questions when he will be home. I can see who Hayley inherited the eye-rolling from. I cannot help but feel both daughter and father take Meghan for granted.
Later at Game’s Night…….
The ladies arrived in style at the Edmond’s chic residence. Lizzy and Christian, Tamra and Eddie, Heather (sans Terry. I’m sure he was working to buy more 400 dollar T-shirts) and Shannon and David. Shannon found it odd that it was a couple’s games night and Meghan’s husband was not in attendance at his own party. It seemed to bother Shannon so much, she cornered Lizzy to gossip about a missing Jim Edmonds (or is it Bill?) Lizzy engaged Shannon a bit in the verbal bashing, but she was kinda like, oh well, not really our concern and moved on. Arriving late with Brooks and her snoring was Vicky.
I think it was in very poor taste of Vicky to show up. Ok, she works like a dog and was exhausted, but then send your regrets to the host. Call and let Meghan know that you had an extra hard day and won’t be able to attend her party. Oh no! Not the Vickster. She attended anyway and snored and yawned her way through the entire evening. Maybe she’s not a fan of group games like my sissie Camille. Put a game of Pictionary in front of her and girlfriend heads for the hills! That and musicals. Even so, Vicky came to the party, So suck it up and be a gracious guest.
You know your party sucks and pocket lint is more exciting than your company if Vicks does this:
Can we move on to the unhinged. You must know who I’m referring to. Shannon Beador. During the couple question game, one question was about your spouse being more or less romantic than when you first married. Poor David said he was less romantic present day. WRONG ANSWER, Davey-boy! Shannon’s eyes became as big as pools and she began to shake, saying, “how could you say this? Really? Less romantic?” Shannon, shake it off. It’s just a silly game. Wowza. I don’t think those serenity herbs are working for ya’ gal.
Later in the evening, Vicky left and went to her bed, while the other ladies sat on the couch to sip on champs and chat. I hope that champs was Collette. Meghan (who is barely out of braces and zit cream) disclosed that she is ready to
make her face look like an expressionless doll for Botox at the ripe old age of 28. Shannon could not hide her dismay at Meghan’s decision and she failed to see any flaws on the beauty’s face. Shannon wears her emotions. She cannot hide anything behind a stiff smile. Meghan immediately noticed this and called her out. “Shannon,” Meghan said, “Why do you have judgey eyes?” I’m with Tamra on this one. Shannon’s eyes are just big, ole crazy eyes to me. However, it was clear that she disapproved of Meghan’s decision to have Botox at such a young age.
By the way, these are my judgey eyes……
Let the Tahiti Games Begin!
The ladies were packing for the big trip and wow, Heather’s packing. Tissue paper, shoe bags, holey moley. I guess I am sadly not like fancy-pants. I just throw things in a suitcase and call it a day. Mind you, when I get to my destination I have forgotten just about everything I need. Oh well, on to Tahiti.
The vacation in my judgey eyes (see above) is already taking a turn downhill because of Vicky. She is relentless about Meghan not working. She’s not saying things in a concerned way, but in a very judgey-eyed and critical way about Bill, Jim (let’s just call him Bob) being the bred-winner. He’s a wealthy athlete, so if Meghan wants to saunter around in Louie’s all day and volunteer her time to a few charities, that’s their business. She is not asking you to pay her bills or her car note, Vicky, so just lay off the women. She used to sell medical supplies, but now she doesn’t need to work. Vicky is trying to say that once BillJimBob leaves Meghan for the next young model, Meghan will be left destitute. I doubt that Vicky. She can always go back to sales, I am sure she is educated and she must have a sweet prenup in place.
Lizzy is genuinely concerned and pulls Meghan aside to express her concern and to see if she is okay. Lizzy is a nice person. Vicky on the other hand is mean. Over breakfast she nearly had The Spanish Inquisition with poor Meghan. The constant badgering from Vicky. “Explain this gap between your last job. Why aren’t you working now?” I think Vicky was confusing a job interview at her insurance company with a casual breakfast with friends on vacation.
I can see Meghan’s face is becoming stiffer and tighter with irritation. (She might not need that Botox after all.)
Before I sign off, I got a good belly laugh when Vicky called the Ukeleles the locals were playing “banjos” at the welcome reception in Tahiti. “Oh, look at the cute banjos!” she exclaimed. Oh brother. This is not The Deliverance Vicky, in the Appalacian mountains. There are no banjos to be seen or creepy-eyed boys in suspenders. This is Tahiti.
Vicky, this is a banjo:
Let me get put these judgey eyes to bed. Until next time. Cue music please.